Something ..

Great .. Christmas is just around the corner .. and seriously .. is very very soon .. supprisingly .. I dun really feel that much of excited, I feel more stress and more stress .. y is that so ? But ..hey .. I never feel excited bout Christmas ever .. I just lost the Christmas celebration spirit in me for such a long time .. not even I can remember when I actually feel excited bout Christmas.

Have u done ur Christmas shopping yet ?? Have you ?? I havent even start off any, there is such a long list pending and I got no idea when I got the time to get them .. and I dun even noe how to get them wrap up .. for I am really bad in wrapping up pressie.

I've born in the non Christian background family .. and no idea y my parents is kinda against on celebrating Christmas .. we used to haf a nice Christmas tree that is well decorated .. and placed in the hall, ever since I can remember .. and by the time onwards .. the Christmas tree is like vanished from the house. Even my mom told me that I ate the shinning ball .. no idea wat u called that .. when I was just a lil baby .. I actually swallow one of them .. but the christmas tree is "vanished" from the house around when I was barely 4-5 years old ..

When time goes by, parents actually getting extreme when we try to celebrate Christmas.. Story bout santa coming in the house and give Christmas present to those kids who been good for the whole year .. is really a story that I never heard b4, I dint even noe there is such thing as "boxing day" .. and I dint even noe present is only opened on the boxing day .. Knew that this few years back ..

Story bout the Santa having reindeers pulling the sleigh .. and hering the sleigh bell .. is something I dint get to noe when I was a lil child.. Year by year .. I only noe Christmas - a day suppose to have snow, a day that is a holiday .. a day that u get to watch lots and lots of cartoon on tv. Till then .. getting older and knew is when u get to get lots of present ..

Christmas Spirit .. something that I not familiar at all .. Christmas story .. bout Santa and the elves, a some sort of monster or human that hates Christmas is called Grinch .... I never heard b4 !!! I never heard b4 the story of Santa ..I only watch those on tv .. and is bout leaving milk and cookies on the table for Santa ? Who is this Santa ?? What I noe .. by now .. is Christmas .. Christ is born in this day .. but I really wanna noe bout Christmas story .. those u listen when u are young .. parents told u .. my parents did not .. I just .. born in a way that noe nothing bout Santa..

Christmas Spirit .. who can get back for me ?? who can help to get it ??

I will never expect present from anyone .. what I want now for Christmas is never and will never get to purchase by anyone .. All I want for Christmas .. is something that gonna be so so meaningful for me for entire life .. One .. I've been praying over the years .. Another one .. I just ... waiting and waiting .. and hopping and doubting ..

Every year .. when approach to Christmas .. I just feel sad and sad .. is so dramatic .. a person who is searching the lost Christmas Spirit for years .. this is really pathetic ..

God .. Pls let me get back my Christmas Spirit .. pls let me feel excited for Christmas.. God, U noe wat I want for this few years .. Lord .. Pls let me have it .. Pls Lord ..

Christmas .. a season that I just cried myself ..

:: Listening - Planet Shakers : Evermore ::